You’ll never truly understand yourself. Even at your most aware, you will wonder why you do the things you do, knowing that they make little sense. Either you take too many risks or too few. You may love too hard or not enough. You could be too defensive or waaaaaaaayyyyyyy too trusting. Whatever it is, none of us calculate everything perfectly and, at those moments when we try to, we are way too calculated (or, more simply put, weird) in a chill environment.
Life is short and logic is flawed. Every day, work to make the best decisions that you can but don’t beat yourself up when your best seems to fall short. Just make sure you’re not making the worst decisions possible repeatedly. It is at that point which you have a problem.
Make making better decisions a priority.